One of the hardest parts of IVF is not knowing if it will ever end. The advice to "just put it out of your mind" is great, it would be so wonderful if I could. If I did simply put it out of my mind I would forget to take my medications, forget to keep my appointments for blood tests, ultrasounds, egg collection and embryo transfer. I wish I could forget those things...and I will soon.
There comes a time when enough is enough. It is so emotionally demanding and for me I feel like I am fighting for something that keeps eluding me. Someone said to me yesterday - wait until you have you children, them comes the hard stuff! And yes I agree, it is hard to raise another human being but I would like to have that opportunity. I would also like to have the rewards that come from having children, giving love and guiding another how to be.
I would love to see the little people that are a part of me and a part of Ronnie yet are there own person. I want to meet them and love them. I want it all. I believe this is something that will happen, I believe it in a spiritual sense. And yet I have to consider that maybe I am misguided in that and I am trying to force something that will always elude me. So we have decided on an end point. We have decided when we will stop IVF. I say we but really it is me. I have decided on an end point...
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