Guess what....

Guess who is going back to school?

ME!!!

One of the hard parts...

One of the hardest parts of IVF is not knowing if it will ever end. The advice to "just put it out of your mind" is great, it would be so wonderful if I could. If I did simply put it out of my mind I would forget to take my medications, forget to keep my appointments for blood tests, ultrasounds, egg collection and embryo transfer. I wish I could forget those things...and I will soon.

There comes a time when enough is enough. It is so emotionally demanding and for me I feel like I am fighting for something that keeps eluding me. Someone said to me yesterday - wait until you have you children, them comes the hard stuff! And yes I agree, it is hard to raise another human being but I would like to have that opportunity. I would also like to have the rewards that come from having children, giving love and guiding another how to be.

I would love to see the little people that are a part of me and a part of Ronnie yet are there own person. I want to meet them and love them. I want it all. I believe this is something that will happen, I believe it in a spiritual sense. And yet I have to consider that maybe I am misguided in that and I am trying to force something that will always elude me. So we have decided on an end point. We have decided when we will stop IVF. I say we but really it is me. I have decided on an end point...

Hot date and hot chips!

Ronnie

took me


out and about.

Then we stopped awhile.

And while he waited on the jetty...

I got dinner ready.

Yummy!

Life is good!!!

The Garden Not of Eden

The back yard has traditionally been non-accessible due to the crop of weeds that Ronnie grew.

I am not kidding when I suggest that at times they were head high.

Ok, ok! I am not the tallest of people but come on - who lets weeds grow a THIS tall.

The weeds are not the only problem in the yard.

We have a beautiful but troublesome palm.

We are chopping that out - I say with hesitant tones.

It is beautiful but it hurts.

Really it does.

It has spikes that have a toxin and big heavy ends.

And as we plan to have small children around we don't want that.

That should all be changing soon.

Some changes are good and others...not so good.

I have promised Ronnie not to complain about the monstrously huge and ugly shed that is going in the back yard - so I wont!

Instead I will tell you - Ronnie is getting a shed.

And I am getting a yummy, delicious garden.

Off on a hot date...more later!!!

Back to nature...

Seems I have trouble making babies.

(ie- home pregnancy test I took this morning was negative)

So while we take a break from science.

I am going to work on creating our garden.

(I'll post some before shots later).

I have never tried to garden before.

I want an edible garden.

Lets see how that goes.