I was devastated when all that my body had produced was 4 follicles. Two of those 4 aren't even worth mentioning. Did you notice there were 2 large eggs and 2 small eggs in the carton? Yes, that has significance. The other two follicles were great but even though it is often said the quality is better than quantity two is not enough. My cycle was cancelled.
I must say that discovering that I only have two viable follicles was not one of my finest moments. The nurse said, "Oh, that is disappointing". My reply was a spontaneous "---- off, it's disappointing. I am shattered!" That statement was accompanied by tears and the direction to stop telling me anecdotal stories of success. It just doesn't help at the moment.
I had never considered that I would be halted at this point. I think I would have been more prepared for the embryo not to have taken. I have had that experience (well the experience of not conceiving) enough not to be shocked by that. I was so shocked to have not produced lots of great follicles. Did my ovaries not listen to me telling to make lots of healthy follicles?
So what does that all mean? Well, Ronnie and I ate the eggs that represented my follicles for lunch in a delicious Caesar salad...
...and we are hoping that the two good eggs are released from their follicles and happen to meet two fabulously formed and determined sperm over the next few days. If all are to shy to introduce themselves we start the process again. Must say that this has all been a lesson in humility, but more on that later...enough ugly bits about me for one day! Oh, I do hope I see that nurse again so I can apologise.
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