Kallan the spunk...and wishes granted!

I borrowed the following picture from the Maitland Mercury. My neice and nephew - all have been brave through a very difficult time and Mum, Dad and kids get to go celebrate the success of a difficult journey. Click here to read the story.

And here is a story of him in another paper during the stuggle.

www.kallanjamesegar.blogspot.com

Have fun! Wish I was coming too!

Love and marriage.

Jack or Captain Jack Sparrow to some...

It has been a long time since I have felt like writing.

Things have been very difficult.

Grief hurts.

But I am healing.

So much so that I can contemplate trying again.

I am healthy.

And as I suspected there was nothing wrong with the baby.

It was a little boy.

I knew it was a boy.

I felt it.

Campbell (me nephew) asked what I called him.

I told him he hadn't been given a name.

Campbell suggested "Jack".

Aiden (another nephew) expanded on that "Captain Jack Sparrow".

Boys!!!! I almost had one.

It was beautiful to have what I felt confirmed.

It gives this baby an identity.

It contributed somewhat to the loss though. Does that make sense?

I didn't loose a baby of indiscriminate nature, I lost a son.

Although I felt that loss more keenly I am glad I know.

Life goes on.

I am finding happiness again.

I am finding courage.

I am growing confidence.

I am woman!

No Apple Today...

Off to see the Doctor today.

Recurrent miscarriage specialist.

It would be nice to have some answers,

But I suspect,

The verdict will be - Nothing wrong!

If there was a problem, at least we might be able to fix it.

Sadness...

Today I feel sad.
I hope I can shake it soon.
Sometimes writing helps clarify thought and feeling.
I hope you don't mind.

You might know,
I want to have children,
I want to teach them, love them, help them to grow,
I want to help them understand the world, find happiness and reach their potential.

I don't want to get pregnant though.
I don't want the stress,
I don't want the thought of an impending miscarriage,
I don't want the sadness.

There are other options,
Some we are looking at,
That is not the easy route though,
There are processes and stresses involved in those process too.

Besides feeling sorry for my self today,
I think I might have a little fertility envy.
Oh, how blessed and lucky are those that can conceive and carry without hinderance.
If this is you, offer a prayer of gratitude will you?

Me, I will try and think of the things I am grateful for.
Will you share yours with me too?
It might help me recognise some of mine,
And clear this thundercloud that seems to be hanging over my soul today.

A little late...but still a happy anniversary!

Yummy breakfast before we took off on a dolphinless dolphin cruise.

We get to go back for another trip though.

I can't believe we have been married for

2 years, 3 months, 1 week, 3 days.

Time flies when you are having fun!!

The First Harvest.

Ok, so that is a rather grandious statement for what I am about to show you...
It is the first every fruit picked from my...soon to be garden!


It is not yet a garden,
My pots sit on my back patio.
I still need to get a big tree chopped up and some work done before I can put my plants in.